Babe, You Got to Have Faith

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Have you ever just felt down and just to the point where you want to give up? That was me…ALL WEEK. Well, the last couple of weeks actually. I have felt like I have a taken a HUGE beaten. But while traveling today, T played this song, ” Give Me Faith”, and what a calm of peace it has brought over me.

“T”…he is my confidant. I can always confide in him and expect an honest answer…(Now sometimes I may get “Bro. T” instead of “Boyfriend T” but I’m okay with that. It’s needed at times.) The other day I had a meltdown and boy did I lose it. Nothing was going MY way. Calmly, he looked at me and responded with this…

“Babe, you got to have faith.”

WHAT?!? I am sitting here crying. My heart is breaking and I am falling apart. TACOS can’t even fix this feeling. I am so down in the dumps, and you calmly just responded with ” Babe, you got to have faith” ?

Then, I sat there and started thinking. He is SOOOO right. Where did my faith go?

T and I are firm believers in God will provide. He will. ( Ask T of all the times he went without knowing that God will provide.) But lately I lost faith. You see I am a worrier. I worry about the things that I can’t control. Going into a relationship with T, I had to understand the Lord could call us away at anytime. That was something I just could not control. When am I going to realize that I’m not suppose to control my life? That I have to give it all to God and say, ” Father, take it. Take it from me. Let your will be done. Where you go, I’ll go.”

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T preached Sunday morning and in closing he spoke of the two blind men that were praying. They prayed, ” Lord have mercy on me!” He responded asking them what they wanted him to do and in response, ” Lord open our eyes.”  Just like this photo quotes, I need God to soften MY heart and to break me. I need him to open my eyes so that I can see that he is shaping my life.

Where did my faith go?

I started putting faith in a degree that I did not have. I started putting faith in things that I could not control. My faith was every place but where it needed to be.

“But then you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” – James 1:6

It’s not necessarily that I’m doubting God. I doubt myself. I doubt that I will be talented enough to find a job. But I was also putting my faith where it shouldn’t be.

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GOD. WILL. PROVIDE. 

He has a plan. He knows when I’ll go back to school, and if I will. He knows if my blog will succeed and if I will become the speaker I could only dream to be. God knows my thoughts and dreams before I do. He can move mountains to make his plan possible. How can I not put my faith in Him?

You remember the story of David and Goliath? David was just a little boy who went against a massive giant. David had faith through God. He went against a giant and sword with just three stones. THREE STONES. He defeated that giant. HE HAD FAITH. 

Where is your faith? Are you a David or Goliath?

Father,

Forgive us. Forgive us where we fail you. Forgive us when we put our faith elsewhere. I pray we remember to have faith like David and to face our battles with faith in You. I pray we remember you have a plan already created for us and stop trying to take control. I pray we remember even though we are weak, we are strong with YOU. Thank you for creating us in the way you intended us to be. We love you. We praise you.

                                              – Amen 

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…We Are Precious in HIS Sight…

There are a few things I feel I need to address. I have said before, I have felt the call to reach out to young women and teenage girls and their ministry. So this post may seem a little different, but I hope and pray you will get something out of this.

My heart is heavy. Actually, my heart is broken. I am different than most my age. I actually enjoy watching the news, but lately I am completely disgusted. I’m not just disgusted by the news, but by social media. Society has ruined the minds of not just the younger generation, but also my fellow peers. So let me start small before I am bombarded by comments and opinions.

Society has put into our heads this image of what women, and men, should look like. The known “average” is now to look like a Victoria Secret model. While I will agree that they are all beautiful, they are realistic. Magazines, movies, television, and social media have said what we should wear, say, and even eat to be like everyone else. But when did it become that we needed to be like everyone else and for us not to be ourselves? Many of the girls that I have had the pleasure of spending time with have expressed to me the pressure of being like everyone else. They are so worried about looking a certain way and being a certain way instead of being who they truly are. So here is what I tell them in case you were wondering:

God made you for YOU. He did not create you to be like everyone else. Every single person he created was exactly how he meant to create you. He did intend for us all to be the same. Psalms 139 is my favorite chapter of the bible. God knew who we were before we were born, He knew every single strand of hair on our head before we were created in our Mother’s womb. He makes no mistakes. Maybe you can’t sing or write, but I guaranty you have a gift. Use that gift that he gave you. You are made that way he wanted you to be, and I think that is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

The woman at the well. One of my favorite bible stories. She believed she could not be forgiven and knew of others talking about her because of her past. But Jesus loved her. He forgave her for her sins. Instead of refusing her or judging her, he asked for a drink of water and told her she would never thirst again. We serve an AMAZING, LOVING, and FORGIVING God.

 

We also serve a God who loves us the way he created us. Charlottesville has completely broken my heart. This is not a race issue. This is a non-believers issue. God created us all. He did create one race to be higher than the other. Last time I checked, Jesus was not white American man. He was a Jew that dies on a cross for not just me, but you. He died for us ALL. God sent his son to die for our sins and that means every race, person, and country. I pray for the victims of this ridiculous outbreak of anger, loneliness, and starve for attention. I pray for this cry of being lost. White Nationalist, KKK, or Neo-Nazi, none are higher that one another. There is fault on all sides. We are not different. All are the same. We are SINNERS. I pray for their hearts and they find the Truth.

We are all precious in his sight: red, yellow, black, and white. We are his children. My sister made a shirt not to long before the news broke with Charlottesville. ( Which if you would like one, she is selling them. $20. Just shoot me an email that’s listed in my bio. ) Now I feel we need to be reminded on this. We are precious in his sight. All of us. 

Father, 

  I pray for our country. I pray for the ones who do not know you. I pray they find you Father. I pray that they open their hearts to realize we are all loved by you and we are all the same. I pray they realize we serve a forgiving and loving father. I pray they realize you sent your Son to die on a cross for us all…not just one race. You created us to love or neighbor. I pray they realize their wrongs and follow you. I pray for safety over our country. I pray for comfort as we begin healing. Father you are the way. I pray we follow you. We love you. – Amen 

Oh Sweet Baby.

I have been blessed to have the time to spend with some wonderful and beautiful girls the last couple of years. Ones that I have come to love and mentor, and that alone is truly a blessing. Not only are they sweet, God loving girls, but they are the most HILARIOUS human beings I have ever come to meet. Let me tell you why…

  They constantly tell me this: ” Abbie, I can’t wait to be just like you. I want to have a heart like you, I want a boyfriend like you, like you two are goals.” 
Oh, Sweet Baby.
They constantly tell me how they want to have a heart like mine. I am so strong and have faith stronger than they have seen. I have my life together….let me say this. Looks can be deceiving. While you think I have my life together, I have to pray to the good Lord every single day that I don’t lose my mind. My car is a wreck, my room is a wreck, my life is a hot mess. My life is NO WHERE NEAR together. But I got the Lord by my side ALWAYS! 

“T” and I are great. He’s really great. God truly blessed me with him. But oh, sweet baby. I guaranty you, we are not perfect. We have moments where sometimes we don’t want to see each other. There are times where he gets annoyed by my voice and I get annoyed because he knows I would rather have tacos then work on abs at the gym. But he is amazing. Be patient. When you are ready, God is going to send you a GREAT man that you will marry and guess what! He will NEVER leave. I mean never. He will be with you all the time. He will even go to bed with you. Every night. A hairy man will lay down in your freshly washed sheets and you will have to LIVE WITH IT. ( I promise “T”…I can’t wait for our future. I love you most. )

Oh, Sweet Baby. Slow down. I want to be there for you every step of the way and I will. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Never forget that. God has plans for you that I can’t wait to see and I am so glad you asked me to be a part of it. Remember this: 

” Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away.” -Psalms 139:1-2 

“For it was You who created my onward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful , and I know this very well,”  -Psalms 139:13-14

You are who God created you to be. He is molding you to be the beautiful woman he plans for you to be. You are an amazing person inside and out! I can’t wait to see who you become. 
Father,

  I pray for the sweet person reading this. I pray they continue to follow the path you made for them. I pray they remember you know the plan for them and make no mistakes. I pray the find the courage and self confidence they need to live a life following you. I pray they remember how beautiful and wonderful they are because you created them that way. God, you are amazing! We love you! -Amen. 

Change Before You Have To


I woke up this morning and dove straight into the word. No coffee, no shower…straight into the word and prayer. I needed it. You see lately I haven’t been my best. I haven’t been 100% committed. I have become overwhelmed and I have started to fall from my insecurities and felt defeated. I used to wake up daily and go straight into quiet time with the Lord. It was the ONLY way I could wake up. But then it became, ” I am running out of time. Let me start this after work”, then it became ” Let me finish this after dinner.” Eventually my quiet time was non-existent. I found every excuse I could to push it off. Why? I fell to defeat. I gave up. I became weak. But this morning, I praise God for his word. I praise God for waking me up to learn. I praise God that I now feel relief after WEEKS and I mean WEEKS of feeling defeated and like I am just drowning.

This morning I studied Exodus 3. Now most of you know this story. Moses and the burning bush…classic right? It is one of my favorites. But I never really thought about it this way…so hang with me. God brings you what you need when you need it. Amen? Amen. I have let things control my life. I have let things control who I was becoming and how I handled situations. No matter how resistant we are, there is ALWAYS something that controls us. Our employer tells us when we are to come to work, our bank account controls what activities we take part in by the amount of funds we have available, and our attitudes affect your actions. We are controlled no matter how hard we try to run from it.

HOW WE THINK CONTROLS HOW WE ACT. There is so much truth in that. I have been consumed by my insecurities. I constantly felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t good enough, and I wasn’t someone to be proud of. I was embarrassed of what I was feeling. I let my guard down and sought answers in the worst of places. To be honest, I quit calling on the Lord until it got to a breaking point. Why? I needed to change. But it was hard. It was so hard to get back up to where I was. I needed to face my insecurities.

Let’s jump on over to Moses. When Moses encountered the burning bush, Moses turned his face from God. Moses identified the things that were controlling him. He asked, ” Why me?” He knew of his limitations. He couldn’t understand why he was chosen. He couldn’t understand how the people would believe him. But God assured him, he was I AM.

They faced limitations just as we do. We have to face the things that control us. If we do not recognize them, and face them then change is impossible. I was being controlled by my insecurities. I was being controlled by the feeling that I could not be forgiven. I felt like I couldn’t speak because I wasn’t smart enough or worthy enough. Why? I am better than that.

Kasey Van Norman is one of my all time FAVORITE speakers. I had the opportunity to listen to her my first year of college and she is still an inspiration. I listen to her speak often. One of my favorites is her “Crave to Change” lessons. Kasey has overcome many obstacles in her life. One that is known is her battle with cancer. She tells the story of how they had to test her marrow to look for cancer. She goes into detail of the steps and pain that she had to endure ( and I will spare you the gruesome details ) and used it as an example. The word of God goes into our marrow and extracts the impurities. It feels like conviction and shame, and we don’t want to go through it. It isn’t our first choice. Only by faith and that nudge that we can go to the word of God. God wants more for us and from us. He uses his word to do that. It is meant to be convicting because we have to CRAVE THE CHANGE.

Those words cut deep. We have to crave the change so that we change before we are forced to. One of her quotes that I just LOVE is this…” Every great story has a hero. The rescue is the best part.” Jesus is reality. His love is OUR reality.

“Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.”

You are not this world. Clear the stage. Take away all the things that control you. Find your answers in the Lord God himself. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the way. Face what controls you. Crave the Change.

I pray for you. I pray that you crave the change. It will be one of the hardest things you do. I am still trying. I am still healing. But it can be done. Dive into his word. Spend time with him. The reality to whatever you are going through is that God loved you so much that he sent his Son to Earth to die on a cross for our sins. HE LOVES US. HE LOVES YOU. I have no clue why it took me this long to figure this out. In all honesty, I always knew. I just rebelled. I was in fear. So while I pray you call out to God and overcome your battles, I ask you to pray for me. I crave the change. But I still need your prayer.

The View is Great

About 99% of the time I write about praying for my future husband….so I hope you don’t think this post will be any different. I really don’t know much of having a husband….I don’t have one. But I know what it’s like to pray for them. I know what it’s like to dream of whom God has chosen for you. One thing I know is that every one has an idea of whom they are going to marry. Now in my mind…I was going to marry Tim Tebow. He loves the Lord, he loves missions, and he plays for the Mets. **Be right back. Currently swooning** But the Lord has someone for me that in my opinion is A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER that Tebow. 
 I know for a fact that everything I THINK is the plan and what I need, is not what God wants for me. Now he may have it planned for Tim and I to meet one day. But he also has it planned for me to marry someone that loves the lord just as much or more, loves mission work and kids, and loves baseball. ( I won’t say loves the Mets because let’s be honest, I live in Braves Territory) 
A couple of months ago I met this guy. Now I did not look for this guy, the Lord opened doors for me to meet him. He has been the best thing to happen to me in a long time. He is a man that prays for me AND with me. He leads me spiritually and cares for me. Now what is the problem…there has to be one right??
I constantly look for the negative things. I look for the things that can go wrong. I was known to some of my friends as the “runaway bride.” I get scared when I have to face serious things. I’m a runner. But this guy…he challenges me. He has me face what I normally would run from. He challenges me to face my fears and overcome them. He prays over my struggles so that WE can overcome them together. He reminds me I’m never alone. He challenges me to grow. 
To be honest with you, the day we met I was a little scared. I knew going to meet him that things were going to be different. But I am SO thankful that I did not chicken out. The moment we met God literally turned my head and said, ” That’s him!” I would be lying if I didn’t say that it scared the bananas out of me! But it was the best feeling I could have asked for. 

 I am so thankful to have met this man. I’m thankful I get to grow spiritually and in love with him. Instead of looking for the negative. I’m going to look for the positive. That’s all I see. 

People say life’s a climb, but the view is great. You should see the view from my eyes. 

Let it be Done

“Let it be done just as you believed it would.” -Matthew 3:18 
  About 5 years ago, I was living away from home. I was a college kid trying to find her own way. But I began to find someone that was DEFINITELY not whom God intended for me to be. I began to argue with my mother daily, I argued with myself, and unfortunately started arguing with God. I did my best to run from him and everything he called me to be. For some reason, I found myself angry and questioning everything. Why? Who knows. I still have yet to figure out the exact reason for me to act the way I did. But when I was fed up with it all, he was there to pick me up off the ground. God was always there. 

God meant it when he said he could give and take away. I began putting so many things ahead of him. I was a college cheerleader. I was starting to get leads in the musical program. I had the boyfriend that everyone wanted…I was living the life that I believed everyone wanted….that I believed I wanted. I was wrong. I may have thought those were what I needed but to be honest the only thing I needed was our Heavenly Father. 

I became injured so I couldn’t cheer anymore. My health just wasn’t well enough anymore. I lost my music scholarship. And that boy that was so “perfect” for me left.I was on the ground begging for something. Just to feel something in my time of wants. Yeah…you read that right…time of wants. It was not my time of need. My time of need was when I was on the floor crying out for forgiveness because all the worldly things didn’t matter anymore. 

The Lord works in mysterious ways. In the summer when I was confused and looking for answers, God opened a door. Not the door I prayed for though. He opened a door for me to travel and spread his word. Now I, again, began to argue with God. He was calling me to do something out of my comfort zone. He called me to serve him in the mission field. 

*gulp* what? 

I kept asking God, “Why me? How? How could you call me to this? There are so many people that are better at this than me!” And no lie, clear as day, he replied, ” I have opened this door. Take it. TRUST ME!” So I did just that. I trusted him. I followed him. He led me to Billings, Montana. And BOY did he answer my prayers. He showed me exactly who I was and what he intended on me to be. 

God placed me in a church that had recently gone through what my home church went through. I knew how things were going to end but my Montana family needed me. They needed a prayer warrior. They needed someone that would just hold their hand when they needed it. To be honest, they needed a little southern charm. And I needed a little Montana air. He had me work with small children and youth. He had me become a big sister to many girls that I miss every day. They needed me and I needed them. I met a man that not only is like a father to me, that is a non-believer but I know God is working on him. I see it daily. I met 4 Montana Mommas that took me in and helped raise me the last three years. I have made family and friends back in my Montana home. (It’s one of my many homes.) I miss them dearly but the Lord is using them I know it. 

    Now he didn’t call me to be a professional cheerleader…AND YES THAT EXISTS! He didn’t call me to be a singer/songwriter or model living in Dallas. He didn’t give me the guy that I believed was everything. Because he wasn’t my everything. The Lord is my everything. He literally put me on this world and he can literally take me out. So I must serve him. I must serve him where he calls. Plus he knows what’s best for me. 

    The moral of me telling this long story is this…wait for the lord. In his timing, he will show you the way. I pray for you as you pray for me. I pray if you are struggling that you will give it all to God. Don’t be like me. I’m am a stubborn person. When he calls you, follow him. Let it be done, just as he says it to be. 

    To the One Who Couldn’t Give me Time…

    I had this friend. He was my best friend. He knew me better than I knew myself it seemed like. But he had to drop this gigantic bomb on me….that he could possibly have feelings for me. 

    **Excuse me while I freak out a little bit**

    How could he drop a bomb like that? How could it be that I could possibly have feelings for him back? I never thought this would actually happen. But it did. 

    So you’re probably thinking, ” Why are you not happy? Be together!” Right? Well wrong. I have recently stopped seeing someone. Someone that ,although we were not serious, I actually liked. (Yes, it didn’t work out for the best. But let’s be honest, I was committed.) I needed a little time to think things over. I needed to make sure that I was ready for someone. Ready to make a serious relationship move…because everyone knows I have a track record with heartbreak and relationship failures. I needed time to PRAY about it. But that seemed to be asking a lot of him. 

    I didn’t want to lose a friendship that formed over the last decade. I didn’t want to lose a friendship that I cherished with all my heart. But some how, I did. He was impatient. He decided for me what I was thinking. He became like every guy that I have ever known. 

    So here’s a little side note for all the guys crushing on the best friend…tell her (because girls LOVE honesty!) but give her time. Give her time to process the bomb and friendship changing decision that you just made. Let her think things through and pray about. This is something that will be hard to process and if she is like me, she needs to pray about it. 

    I am a strong believer in TIME. I believe that everything happens when it should at God’s perfect timing. So believe me when I say give her time.

    To my friend that I thought I knew,  if you really knew me, you would have known what decision I would have made. You would have let me think things through. You would have prayed with me, not just for me. You would have known, in time, I would have chose you. 

    But the ship has sailed. By now, it’s probably halfway to Jamaica. With my feelings for you on it. Because apparently, my feelings didn’t matter enough for you to give me a little time. 

    How do you like them apples??