Have you ever just felt down and just to the point where you want to give up? That was me…ALL WEEK. Well, the last couple of weeks actually. I have felt like I have a taken a HUGE beaten. But while traveling today, T played this song, ” Give Me Faith”, and what a calm of peace it has brought over me.
“T”…he is my confidant. I can always confide in him and expect an honest answer…(Now sometimes I may get “Bro. T” instead of “Boyfriend T” but I’m okay with that. It’s needed at times.) The other day I had a meltdown and boy did I lose it. Nothing was going MY way. Calmly, he looked at me and responded with this…
“Babe, you got to have faith.”
WHAT?!? I am sitting here crying. My heart is breaking and I am falling apart. TACOS can’t even fix this feeling. I am so down in the dumps, and you calmly just responded with ” Babe, you got to have faith” ?
Then, I sat there and started thinking. He is SOOOO right. Where did my faith go?
T and I are firm believers in God will provide. He will. ( Ask T of all the times he went without knowing that God will provide.) But lately I lost faith. You see I am a worrier. I worry about the things that I can’t control. Going into a relationship with T, I had to understand the Lord could call us away at anytime. That was something I just could not control. When am I going to realize that I’m not suppose to control my life? That I have to give it all to God and say, ” Father, take it. Take it from me. Let your will be done. Where you go, I’ll go.”
T preached Sunday morning and in closing he spoke of the two blind men that were praying. They prayed, ” Lord have mercy on me!” He responded asking them what they wanted him to do and in response, ” Lord open our eyes.” Just like this photo quotes, I need God to soften MY heart and to break me. I need him to open my eyes so that I can see that he is shaping my life.
Where did my faith go?
I started putting faith in a degree that I did not have. I started putting faith in things that I could not control. My faith was every place but where it needed to be.
“But then you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” – James 1:6
It’s not necessarily that I’m doubting God. I doubt myself. I doubt that I will be talented enough to find a job. But I was also putting my faith where it shouldn’t be.
GOD. WILL. PROVIDE.
He has a plan. He knows when I’ll go back to school, and if I will. He knows if my blog will succeed and if I will become the speaker I could only dream to be. God knows my thoughts and dreams before I do. He can move mountains to make his plan possible. How can I not put my faith in Him?
You remember the story of David and Goliath? David was just a little boy who went against a massive giant. David had faith through God. He went against a giant and sword with just three stones. THREE STONES. He defeated that giant. HE HAD FAITH.
Where is your faith? Are you a David or Goliath?
Forgive us. Forgive us where we fail you. Forgive us when we put our faith elsewhere. I pray we remember to have faith like David and to face our battles with faith in You. I pray we remember you have a plan already created for us and stop trying to take control. I pray we remember even though we are weak, we are strong with YOU. Thank you for creating us in the way you intended us to be. We love you. We praise you.